In the last segment in the Providence Life Coach Dating Success Series, we discussed that your best foot forward is to be yourself. The next task in being you is to figure out, Who Am I? Who am I? Of course, there are many levels to figuring out who am I. There are surface levels like, I am human, man; woman, heterosexual, gay, Latino, Asian, American and the list goes on. Then we can take a little deeper look into figuring out, Who Am I.
Am I fun?
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Am I responsible? Am I a good friend or family member?
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Although you have delved deeper than our first exploration, they are still not very deep or define, Who Am I. I can offer you some suggestions to begin the process, but as you know this is a long process that is continually changing.
My training and process of learning about myself has been predominantly guided through meditation. I have a daily meditation practice that started over 20 years ago, I am very grateful for this. Of course, there are many methods of meditation as there are schools and traditions.
For the purpose of discerning who I am, so I can be myself in datingwe are going to use some basic meditation methods, nothing new or trendy about them.
To begin this process of self-discovery in such a short period, we can stick with some basic tried-and-true methods of meditation.
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I invite you to begin by finding a nice quiet place to sit by yourself. Turn off your phone, TV, headphones, or any other means of distraction or attention, your undivided attention is what is necessary.
I invite you to give yourself at least 30 minutes each day for the one-week version of Who Am I. If possible, do not do this right before bed, you will be more apt to falling asleep, dosing off or have trouble keeping your attention focused on the matter in front of you.
We have removed all of our external distractions, found a nice quiet place to sit and are now comfortable planted in a chair. If you are comfortable doing so, I invite you to close your eyes, if you need to keep them open that is okay too.
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Take 3 to 5 full breathes in through your mouth, out with your whole body releasing with each full breath. Now, you can close your mouth, beginning to breathe in and out through your nose. Continue to take large breaths, but not as big as the first few.
We can now take a minute or two doing some breath-watching. Simple and basic method of breath-watching includes breath in 1, breath out 2, breath in 3, breath out 4, breath in 5, breathe out 6, breathe in 7, breathe out 8, breathe in 9, out After counting to 10, begin with 1 and do the same thing again.
This process of breath-watching and counting our breaths from 1 to 10 is the traditional, basic method of creating a single-pointed focus. It may take five minutes or ten minutes, when you feel ready, ask your Higher Self to be present and in charge. Then, ask your Higher Self to slow your brain rhythm, down below psychic, all the way to spiritual healing.
Keep breathing in and out through your nose. You may begin to feel a nice rhythm of breathing that feels comfortable to you.
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Allow your brain and body to slow down and settle in. You will probably not get a direct answer. In fact, if you do, it is probably not correct or the truth.
With this next chunk of time, I invite you to pay attention to your mind, your body and be present. The process is simple; breathe, be present and pay attention; breathe, be present and pay attention; breathe, be present and pay attention.
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Simple, but not always easy to do. Listen, listen to your mind, listen to your body, just listen.
Listening to our own mind and our own body are much different from listening to a TV, a friend or music, Listening to ourselves requires paying attention and being present. You can have a minute or two just ask yourself the simple question, Who am I?
After you have spent 20 or 30 minutes sitting and listening, next step is to interpret what you heard. At first, it may all seem like a jumbled-up mess of random thoughts, but if you take some notes of the scattered thoughts and observations, they may turn out to mean something.
You may learn more of who you are, what you are and why you are.
What could be more valuable in dating or life than knowing who you are, what you are and why you are? Again, to go over the last step after your silent meditation, to take notes on what you remember of your scattered thoughts that crossed your mind, what images did you see, was there colors or textures, was there a landscape, who and what were part of your images, where there any words or phrases that stuck out in your mind?
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